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Name :: Cap'n Hook'er
Hometown :: 26 latitude, 72 longitude
Age:: 27
Weight:: worth 140 pounds in spanish gold dubloons
H eight:: 5'6 (slightly over 1/2 plank)
Signature move:: The Squashbuckler
Raised on a Carnival Cruise ship, Captain Hook'er was forced to
be cocktail girl at galley-slave wages to a bunch of puffed-up,
horn-dog, pompous rich old farts for most of her young life. Living
this thankless and broke-ass way of life, Hook'er swiftly learned
to escape drunken philanderings with some seriously well-placed
kicks, all the while laying HER roving hands on unsuspecting wallets
and half-finished pina coladas. Harrowing though the feel-copping
evasions may have been, the experience instilled in her three very
important things: a love of rum, a deep appreciation for the feel
of a fist-face connection, and the realization that a life of illicit
thievery was way more profitable than working for the man. Awaking
one day with a raging hangover, Hook'er finally had enough and staged
a bloody mutiny, claiming the yacht as her own and forcing the patrons
who had so ill-treated her to walk a makeshift plank into the depths
below. After sailing five of the seven seas and racking up as much
booty as she could muster, Hook'er and her crew took to port in
a little city called Boston, well known for its drunken carousing.
While there she met the women of B.L.O.W.W., and after several bouts
of trying to drink them all under the table (sometimes winning,
sometimes not), she decided to stay on for a while to hone some
of her ass-kicking skills. Her eventual goal is to make the girls
rotating members of her pirate crew.
BLOWW Record:: 5 - 3 - 0
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